Independence

Tomorrow America celebrates its independence. I wonder: what is independence exactly? I understand what independence means for a country (to an extent), but what about for a person? Webster has several different definitions, these are just a few:

independent |ˌindəˈpendənt|adjective1 free from outside control; not depending on another's authority • capable of thinking or acting for oneself

I believe merely because of our psychological makeup, humankind is all dependent on something. Perhaps "independence" merely suggests that our dependency is not tangible or physically present. None of us can be truly independent, unless we become God. And even God, in his Divine humility, created a need and dependence for us. That being said, dependency is not bad, rather, the questions is raised: what are we dependent on?

This brings me to that matter of love, for what we love we tend to depend on for joy, or at least a degree of happiness. However, I came across this quote and I believe speaks volumes of truth:

“We need to help people to discover the true meaning of love. Love is generally confused with dependence. Those of us who have grown in true love know that we can love only in proportion to our capacity for independence.”

― Fred Rogers, The World According to Mister Rogers: Important Things to Remember

Good ol' Mr. Rogers. I loved his show as a little kid. He has a lot of wisdom here. I used to feel guilty for my lack of dependency on the people I love. However, when we don't depend on our loved ones--how they make us feel, the assurance they can give us--we're able to love them far more deeply. It will not be a self-conscious love, not a love that rests on the actions and attitude of the other person. That kind of love cannot last, for no one can provide constant reassurance and admiration for another. Rather, a self-sustained love will thrive. It is a beautiful thing when two people happily standing alone come together. They provide a love that rests on their independence, they come together not out of need, but out of desire, they are able to stand side by side with confidence and peace. 

I am firmly convicted that God is the only one we can approach with dependent love. Not only do we desire God, we need Him. And he is the only one who can perfectly satisfy our search for a never-ending, reassuring, perfect love.